Funny Msn Nicks

• Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
• Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns
• Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
• I was the kid next door's imaginary friend
• I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
• Never put a sock in a toaster
• I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup
• I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it
• I must confess, I was born at a very early age
• He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
• The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn? 
• Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend
• Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
• When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad I’m better
• I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet
• Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!
• If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
• I like your new face, but my monkey wants his ass back.
• Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question
• Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons
• Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love 
• The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.
• Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.
• It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
• Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
• I'm a classic example of all humorists — only funny when I'm working
• Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
• My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil
• I just thought of something funny...your mother
• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
• Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

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